One of these days, I'll be known for my snappy come backs. Today wasn't going to be one of those days. Vic didn't have that problem.
"Ooh, so the princess is awake and I didn't even get to give him true love's first kiss," Vic said. He puckered his lips and blew a kiss at Daniel.
"I have been for a while," he said. "I wouldn't have minded a fashion show. Shit you've got a lot of clothes." He reached from the bed to the floor and retrieved his t-shirt and jeans. He struggled into the jeans without getting off the bed, it was fun to watch but only for a minute. He had some explaining to do that wriggling around and lifting his hips wasn't going to do for him.
And he hadn't known about the boxes of clothes I gave away before I moved.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. "And to miss quote the family of bears, what are you doing sleeping in my bed, Goldilocks? Not that you're a blond or anything, but you know what I mean."
"I am the landlord," he said.
"That doesn't give you the right to sleep here. It gives you the right to inspect the property if you give me adequate notice."
"I'm going to be homeless in about fifteen days," he said.
"You told me your place sold. Why is that my problem?"
"Because I need a place to live and I kind of like the changes you've made." He stretched to his full length and covered most of the bed from top to bottom. and a lovely bottom he had, too.
"My furniture is mine," I said. A lot of it had come from garage sales after Grady returned the furniture he had taken from me, little tiny pieces are hard to utilize and we both knew it. The few pieces that had come with the place were being stored in the crawl space that acted as an attic.
"It looks like a couple lives here," he said. "And that's what I'm after."
I glared. Grandma's slip covers did make it look like a settled, and by that I mean old, couple lived in the house. Everything matched from top to bottom. The furniture got dusted weekly and I ran the vacuum at least once a week, more if Louie tracked in a lot of mud. I had regular stoneware and some china, even three table cloths, not in the dreaded plaid, for various holidays.
"My in-laws are coming to town," he said.
"Again, not my problem," I said. "I thought you talked about an ex wife."
"A bit of flummery on my part. More like widowed, but there aren't a lot of guys my age who are widowers and women accept an ex-wife better than a dead one."
"One more time, Daniel." I took a deep breath. "Why is this my problem?"
"Yeah," Vic said. "Why does that concern Bernie?"
"I told them I'd remarried, and told them it was you."
"Why?" I raised my eyebrow. If I could wrinkle my nose in disdain like Vic could I would have done it, when I did it people handed me tissues thinking my nose was running.
"They've been after me for a couple of years about meeting someone else and settling down. I wanted to dodge any more of their attempts to set me up."
"How do I fit in?"
"You look like the kind of girl someone marries. You liked the house and you and the Louster here have bonded." He looked at the floor. "You look like the kind of a girl who wants a commitment." He rushed the last words, "The wedding dress in the closet is the clincher, absolutely perfect."
"What does that mean?" I directed my question to Vic.
"He means you aren't hot. Or if you were hot, you let yourself go after the wedding."
"Daniel, get the hell out. I'm not here to help you call off the in laws." I looked at Vic, he shrugged his answer. "I know I'm not hot, Vic. I also know I want you to go, too. Thanks for your help. I won't be taking you up on the offer of utilizing Chris's many talents."
For fifteen seconds, no one moved. Vic bent to pick up the garbage bags.
"Leave them, Vic. I don't want your help. I can manage just fine by myself." Just like I always did ever since my mom walked out when I was eight.
He leaned in to give me an apology hug. I turned away. It brought home even more the reasons that Grady cheated, left, and tried to hang me with his the rest of his bills.
"Everybody get the hell out." Louie stretched and started to climb off the bed. "You are the only one I want to stay." I hugged Louie's neck and whispered, "The more I know about men, the better I like my dog."
~~~
tbc
word count: 831
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