birth control for weeds - who knew?

Eons ago when hubby and I bought our house, it had a large backyard that had lots of trees and grass.  Ok, so it was riddled with weeds, but the overall look was green and it looked mediocre.  Hubby wanted grass and I figured this was close enough.

Fast forward through dogs running specific patterns, boredom, and Mother Nature telling me in no uncertain terms that just because I thought I wanted something didn't mean I got it.  Needless to say, the grass was less than luxuriant and less than lush.

When illness came to visit, it was determined to replace all of the grass (and weeds) with granite. 

Would you believe that after the grass was killed and removed, it chose to come back better, stronger (and faster) than ever before?  Sounds a little like the Six Million Dollar Weed/Grass/Yard, doesn't it?

Two springs and summers of pulling the offending sprouts, I called around.  For only $250 every two or three months the yard could be sprayed and be weed free (but they wouldn't say grass free since Bermuda grass is so healthy and determined).

Since it was way beyond budget, I took things into my own hands and went to the Bug and Weed Mart.  For the cost of one good spraying by a 'pro', I could rid my yard of offending foliage for up to three (yes three, count them: one-two-three) years!

Much like Cinderella's coach turning back into a pumpkin at midnight, I must faithfully spray for weeds on January 1st of every year.  I was told that the formula works for exactly one year and even though I started mid-year, all clocks change on the stroke of the New Year and the horrible weeds wait for January 2nd to make their reappearance.  So like birth control of all kinds, I must faithfully spray on January 1st to insure no new growth.

By the time I got done with analogies and re-explaining what I thought I understood to the patient man at the store, I think his head was about to explode ... but that's OK.  The yard is under control.  I can handle any unwanted weeds for the foreseeable future. 

The only one unhappy is the dog, he likes green. Good thing my throw rug in the den is green.