"Where did he go?" Sarah asked. Her son and his brood had just arrived at her doorstep and he abandoned her with the lot of them.
"Eli said something about getting gas for the car so we can all go to the lake tomorrow." Betsy tried to smile at her mother-in-law, but after three long, stress filled days in a car with four children under the age of ten had taken its toll.
"Is he afraid the price of gas will go up between now and then? I swear that boy would drive twenty miles out of his way to save a nickle on a gallon of gas."
"That may be, but he'll be back soon."
~~~
The old station wagon drove itself outside of town, past several gas stations. The narrow road seemed to go on forever when in reality it was more like five miles. In the past fifteen years, Eli had made this junket every time he came home, even if was just for a weekend.
Finally, he reached his destination. He gently closed the door and walked gingerly over the uneven ground. Jordan Matthew Rogers.
Standing before the marble marker that denoted the brief life and death of his first child, the tears flowed. His pregnant girlfriend hadn't taken care of herself and avoided all medical care, hoping that nature would take its course and the pregnancy would end on its own.
It had.
The baby was born prematurely and clung six days to life.
From the moment he knew of the baby, he wanted it even if she hadn't. She wanted nothing to do with him once the stick showed a plus sign. He talked to the campus legal aide clinic about getting her parental rights severed once the baby was born.
Only he and his parents attended the memorial in the hospital chapel. Ruth hadn't cared enough to show up even though Jordan was as much her son as his.
When Eli and Betsy got married struggled to have children, Eli knew that God was punishing him for not being active enough in Ruth's pregnancy. He knew that if he had pushed for more and better medical care, Jordan might be in high school today.
Betsy's first pregnancy was fraught with problems. Eli fretted over each bout of morning sickness. He massaged her feet nightly and her belly at least twice per day.
"Eli, you can't wrap me in cotton wool. I'm fine." She smiled up at him. "We're fine."
"As long as you're sure."
"You need to quit being so over protective. If you keep it up at this rate, the baby will be thirty before she's allowed to cross the street by herself."
"I can't. I'm afraid something will happen and I won't be there."
"What could possibly happen?"
Then, slowly and painstakingly, he told her. She held him as he wept yet again for the loss of life, love, and future his son might have had.
~~~
"You know, he really should stop going there," Sarah said.
"You know?"
"I know. I go, but only for holidays and not for very long."
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