Louie is the speed bump in my life. He is my reminder to slow down. Observe the speed limit. Watch for children at play. And periodically reach down and scratch him behind his ears.
Louie is also more than that. In the living room, he's my organic ottoman. I rest my feet on his haunches when I watch TV or talk on the phone.
He has also stopped Grady from trying to get into my place.
I have no idea how Grady got the new address. I forwarded my mail separately. Had no telephone other than my cellphone. We traveled in separate circles. Always had. No one really understood how we could have been together for so long. I knew the real reason was safe, mediocre sex, and a safe body to sleep next to at night. I'd always liked his bone structure and thought he'd contribute some great DNA to our children. I wanted light hair and dark eyes on my kids, something other than the boring brown of my eyes and mousy brown hair. He'd been Scandanavian in his looks: crystal blue eyes, shocking blonde hair, and yet he could tan. He was naturally slender and athletic when he wasn't trapped behind a desk.
Louie wasn't invited to be a part of the Knitty Bitty Titty Committee meetings because the yarn shop didn't want anyone who might be allergic to dogs getting something unexpected and unplanned in their projects. I joined the committee, but as the provider of dessert while they stitched. I also looked at everyone's cellphone while they showed off their children and grandchildren. I had plenty of pictures of Lou on mine, but never felt comfortable showing them to anyone. I was nerdy thinking it was the two of us against the world - mostly because Louie was just borrowed. As long as I had the house, I had the dog and I had fallen in love.
Those Friday nights, Louie spent with my dad. He and four of five of the guys from his crew got together and played poker, ate bad pizza, smoke cigars, and basically celebrated the lack of estrogen in their lives, if only for a night. Sid, my dad's right hand, had three daughters, all a little younger than me. Dad and Sid discussed all of the things they'd kill their daughters for doing that they themselves had once done. Hypocrites.
When I picked up Louie, I followed Grandma into the house and found all of the guys offering my father advice.
"Ice."
"Rest."
"Low fat diet."
"What's going on?" I asked. I draped my purse strap on the back of a kitchen chair and was about to sink into it when I was glared at by all six of the guys.
"How could you do it to him?" Mike asked. He ran his fingers through his short brown hair and rested his palm on his forehead like he had a splitting headache.
"Do what?" I turned to my father, "Dad?"
"Louie," he said. He sighed deeply.
"Do what to Louie?" As far as I knew things were going pretty well between us.
Mike leaned forward, motioned Louie forward, and covered Louie's ears with his hands. "You're going to have him fixed."
Several of the guys scooted their chairs away from the table in an effort to escape from me.
"It isn't my idea. He's got a prostate problem and Daniel's the one who took him to the vet."
"Passing the buck," Sid said. "They all do."
I looked at each of them in turn. All of them were in their late forties to mid fifties. I'd known them since I was a kid. I'd learned to pound a hammer, drill a screw straight, how to judge if a two by four was in good enough condition to put up. They'd taught me about everything practical in my life except how to find and keep a decent man.
"Excuse me?" I asked. "It was time for his shots and his owner picked him up."
"And why weren't you there?"
"Something called a job. You all know how it is," I said.
"One of us should have gone to protect the boy's rights."
Protect his testicles more like. "Look. I don't own him, I just take care of him." Feed him. Walk him. Clean up after him. Sleep with him. Filling space here, but right now it is the best I'm going to do if I'm going to make my word count.
"You should take him someplace special to take his mind off of Monday," Sid said. "Make him something special to eat on Sunday. You know like a last meal of something."
"Last meal? For a dog?" I asked. Each of the men looked at me in agreement. And each of them looked as though they had each lost their minds.
They solemly nodded their heads in agreement.
"He won't come out the same," my dad said.
"No. He'll lose his will to live," Mike said.
"Do you want to send him get well cards or something? I can't not let his owner do what he chooses with the dog. Besides, I've heard he'll be healthier if he's fixed."
"Neutered," Dad said. "He's not broken so you can't fix him."
"Fine. Still, it isn't my choice." I had no problem with a dog being neutered. Reduced the chance of unintended and unwanted puppies, as far as I was concerned. But these guys seemed to think that Louie's personality and his reason for living was tied to his gonads.
"Can we be there when they do it?" Mike asked.
"Call Daniel," I said. "Do you want his number?" I could just see it now. A waiting room full of contractors, pacing, and ringing their hands all over a dog none of them owned. The vet's office would be just thrilled. "Hey, would we be having this conversation if Louie was Louise and was going to be spayed?"
None of them would meet my eyes. They had no problem with women losing their reproductive rights, but didn't want it to happen to one of their own.
"Come on, Louie. We're gonna go home and then we'll go on a short walk," I said. I looked around for his leash. Both had disappeared.
~~~
tbc
word count 1047
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